Should you teach your child controlling emotions

Autistic meltdowns are probably the most exhausting part of parenting a child who has an autism spectrum disorder. Many parents believe that the meltdowns result from insufficient control over the child’s emotions. Should you help your child control his emotions?

Sensory processing issues and aspies

Mild cases of autism such as the Asperger’s syndrome, are also connected to sensory processing issues. It’s these issues which are largely responsible for your child’s meltdowns. Unfortunately, your child won’t be able to control them without learning how to cope with the sensory integration problems.

Sign your child up for physiotherapy. It’s the best-proven way of dealing with sensory processing problems. This will also help your child be calmer and more aware of the oncoming meltdowns.

Can you control emotions?

Are you able to control your own emotions? I bet not every time. And the same is true for your child. Maybe she can control herself up to a point and you just can’t see her efforts. But when finally something happens to make her snap, you notice immediately.

It’s unfair to demand that your aspie has absolute control over her emotions because no one can manage that, not even you. And if adults sometimes scream with rage, children are even more allowed to do that.

So, the answer to the question is – you shouldn’t teach your child controlling emotions. You can help your child deal with emotions – it’s a completely different thing, and much healthier for the psyche.


  1. It’s true! I mean, how can I require that my child doesn’t throw tantrums if I can’t be perfectly calm all the time?

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